Snow Snow Snow Ahhhhhh **** it.

I don't know how you all feel, but I vote we skip spring and head right into summer.  I love Jersey, I have always loved Jersey and I will always love Jersey, but if I hit the lottery tomorrow, I will buy the house in the south of Spain, the condo on Miami Beach, and the Desert hideaway in New Mexico or Arizona so that I can spend any month that has the potential to snow in a warm environment.  Possibly, I might even buy the other beachfront condo in Australia to guarantee that I'll have a warm place to spend the winter.  This sucks!  I am at that ripe age when the extra weight on the shovel can turn into a wait in the cardiac unit.  It reminds me of all the Louis L'Amour books I read as a kid that referred to a shovel as an idiot stick.  A stick with a shovel on one end and an idiot on the other.  I WAS that idiot far too often this winter, and that's in addition to the hundreds of dollars I have paid people to shovel when I was too tired or lazy to do it myself. Oh well, now they are saying we may get some more on Wednesday, that means I have one MegaMillions and one Powerball Jackpot to change my life before the next snow.  Wish me luck!

Health/Yoga/Gym?WTF?

After 2 years of trying to eat right and walking on a treadmill I had lost over 40 pounds and still weighed 273.  Somewhere in the back of my mind I must have said 'screw it' and from November to New Year's Day I gained more than 10 pounds.

While I have come to the realization that the only way I'll ever see 199 is after the terminal diagnosis, I've decided that I never want to see the dreaded 3's again. So I broke the tenets of my personal religion, THE CHURCH OF DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE THAT CAN'T BE DONE FROM THE COUCH, and in January I joined a Gym.  After three weeks of strenuous workouts that included walking, jogging, and lifting weights, I gained a pound.

I realized that I needed interaction with a professional and Jillian and Bob don't live in Jersey, so I did a personal evaluation with a Yoga Instructor who told me I was fat, old and had the flexibility of a marble statue.  This, of course, led me to write her a check for $475 for a 3 month membership to her studio.  I am now in the third week of Yoga classes, my chakras are blocked, my ki is low and my butt hurts from sitting with my legs crossed.  On the positive side, I can finish an entire hour now without tears, and the knee that I had surgery on 2 years ago has not fallen off.

The moral of my story is don't exchange that extra burger in your 20's for the mixed green salad of your 50's.  Do it while you're young, it's a helluva lot harder now.

Also, my friend Stan said I need to bring more humor into this blog, he said I put him to sleep with the book reviews and the other crap.  Hey, if you want real humor, come watch me do Yoga, but other than that **** you Killer, LOL.